


I Don't Want to Be in Love... Until now

by Anonymous



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Brother/Brother Incest, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Love Confessions, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29660673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Songfic for "I Don't Wanna Be in Love" by Good Charlotte
Relationships: Ponyboy Curtis/Sodapop Curtis
Kudos: 6
Collections: Anonymous





	I Don't Want to Be in Love... Until now

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic for "I Don't Wanna Be in Love" by Good Charlotte

Ponyboy took another drag of his cigarette to steady his shaky nerves. Ever since he realized he was in love with Sodapop, things had gotten complicated in his head. He didn’t want to be in love, and that was all he could think of. He needed to forget it because he knew it was a bad idea. He wasn’t stupid. There was no chance, and even if there was he’d be causing Sodapop pain by having to hide it. Ponyboy wasn’t worth hiding. Not for someone as amazing as Sodapop, anyway.

Sodapop parked the car, looking at Ponyboy who was seated on the steps up to their door. He got out, heading over. “Ponyboy,” he greeted with a smile, ruffling his hair.

Ponyboy felt his insides twist. “Oh, hey, Sodapop,” he said, taking another drag. He was nearly done with his cigarette, but the feelings he was trying to suppress had come back full force as soon as Sodapop approached, and amplified when he touched him. He might have to have another.

“What’s up?” The elder asked.

“Just smoking, taking a break,” Ponyboy answered.

Sodapop nodded. “You want company?”

“I’m fine, I’ll be in soon. You don’t have to wait up for me.”

“Oh, you sure? It’s not a bother.”

“Yeah, um, I’ll be fine.”

“Well don’t smoke too much, dinner’s coming soon and you’ll lose your appetite.”

Ponyboy nodded, pulling out another cigarette anyway. Sodapop frowned, but as soon as Ponyboy saw his lips turn down he looked away.

Sodapop sighed, going inside. Ponyboy smoked a little while longer, fretting internally as he tried to do emotion calculus so he could stop feeling what he was towards Sodapop. It didn’t work, there was no formula to get rid of feelings. But, fuck, he didn’t want to be in love. It was terrifying.

The rest of the day went normally, spare what Sodapop began to converse about as they tucked themselves into the same bed.

“Ponyboy?” He had begun, and it was innocent enough to start, so Ponyboy gave in and took the bait.

“Yeah?”

“What are you nervous about, honey?” Sodapop asked, brushing some hair away from Ponyboy’s eyes gently.

Ponyboy blushed at the tender gesture paired with those words. “I’m fine.”

“Please tell me, maybe I can help?”

“If you help you’ll get hurt,” Ponyboy said.

“That might be worth it.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Honey, I just want what’s best for you. Please, at least let me make the decision on if I want to help, okay? Ain’t that fair?”

“You might hate me.”

“Did you kill or torture someone?” Soda asked, frowning.

“No…”

“Then I won’t hate you.”

“Bet?”

Sodapop chuckled. “Yeah, I bet,” he said.

“Darry can’t find out about this,” Ponyboy said, meeting Sodapop’s eyes.

“Okay, he won’t find out, promise,” Sodapop said, holding Ponyboy’s gaze.

Ponyboy took a deep breath. Was he really about to do this? Sodapop promised Darry wouldn’t find out, but what if he was repulsed? He opened his mouth, closing it, and opening it again.

“Come on, please, Ponyboy?” Sodapop pleaded, tilting his head in an irresistible fashion as he kissed his forehead. “It’s safe. It’s always gonna be safe with me,” he whispered.

Ponyboy gulped. He wanted that to be true, and he let that want bleed into belief that it  _ was _ true. “Sodapop, I-I-” He took a shaky breath, his eyes darting around before he looked back in his eyes. He didn’t want to confess without looking him in the eyes. He was stronger than that. He held his gaze, looking into the blackness that was Sodapop’s eyes in the dark. It was soothing, warm in a way only the void could be.

“I love you,” Ponyboy said, the words slipping past his tongue as he took into Sodapop’s eyes. He blinked, and realizing that was not expressing himself as well as he would like, added, “I love you romantically- more than a brother.”

Sodapop’s eyes widened as his heart started to pound in his chest. He wasn’t serious, was he? “Ponyboy, you- you love me?” He asked.

“I know, I’m sorry- I don’t want to be in love with you, but-”

“No, it’s okay,” Sodapop grabbed his arm, before taking his hand. He kissed his forehead. “I love you too. In a datin’ kinda way.”

Ponyboy looked at him in shock. “I didn’t want you to share in this- you don’t want to be in love with me, do you?”

“I didn’t. But if you love me too, I think I do want to be in love with you. I think we can be great together.”

Ponyboy’s cheeks heated up, and Sodapop couldn’t help but soften at how cute it was. “I- you want to be with me?” The younger asked shyly.

“Yeah, I do,” Sodapop answered, holding him close. “And I want you to not worry about being in love.”

Ponyboy took a deep breath. “I-I guess being in love ain’t so bad if it’s with you like this… I do want to be with you.” He said, moving to kiss him.

Sodapop turned so he kissed his cheek, chuckling. “Let me at least take you on a date first, I know you’re eager but damn.”

Ponyboy blushed. “Oh, um, okay,” he said awkwardly, feeling rejected.

Sodapop chuckled, kissing his forehead again. “You free tomorrow?”

“After school, yeah,” Ponyboy said softly.

“I’ll take you out then. When we get home you can kiss me all you want.”

“Really?” Ponyboy asked, trying to hide his excitement.

Sodapop softened.  _ He was  _ **_so_ ** _ cute. _ “Promise,” he said, wrapping his arms around him as he cuddled him. “I love you, honey. Now let’s go to sleep.”

Ponyboy nodded, nuzzling into Soda’s chest as he sighed. “I love you too, Sodapop. I can’t wait.”

The date was casual, and they didn’t look like a couple as they enjoyed a meal and some conversation about whatever they pleased. They could talk about anything together. When they came home, Sodapop brought Ponyboy up to his room, holding his hand. He closed the door behind them and watched the sunset with him (except when they were distracted by clumsy first-kisses).


End file.
